The Wizard Speaks

Shawn:
Am I really the asshole, or are you the asshole in making me look like
an asshole?
(And have you noticed that a sentence with the same profanity three
times results in that profanity suffering from overexposure and
becoming numbingly absurd?)

We talked, agreed that, as our Epitaph PR guy just passed on to me (to
tell you), we should hold back on this long, revealing rant of yours
until a press release closer to the CD date.

So when you told me you'd jumped the gun with posting to your blog with
that quote (as I'd asked you to write to help Epitaph with their press
release), I said best that you take it down.

"Oh, fine," you said, like a petulant 13-year old girl told to go back
to your room and change into something less slutty. However, you
indicated that this made sense to remove the quotes for now.

I didn't think you'd stick me with the reputation as the violent,
coarse censor of your musings.

Your independent blogging rights can be revoked, you know. A simple missed month of web host payments and your whole web-wide-world crumbles. Do not cross me again.

-Miles

Surrender

Mother Effervescent

I just really wanted to use that title. Something nasty is going around though, so drink your airborne and wear your government issue health masks if you are forced into "face-time" with an associate.
What am I reading? Brave New World.
What am I looking for? Some ear buds for to hear my Biffy Clyro better with.
What did I find while searching the net for ear buds? Glad you ask.

Bear in mind that this is a legitimate website which sells ear buds and technical gadgets, and aside from this one product, I couldn't find another joke on the site. Got my business.

Rejected Color Names for Crayola Brand Crayons

Dead Tooth Grey
Yeast Infection Yellow
Grampa's Brass Eye Bronze
Rough Sex Red
Pug Dick Pink
Wifey's Cuban Gigolo Tan
Camel Ass Camel
First Date Balls Blue
Mommy "fell down the stairs and hurt her eye" Purple
Power White
Jesus Black

These Boobs Aint Gonna Paint Themselves

www.keep-a-breast.org auctions these genetic/artistic collaborations off to raise funds for breast cancer awareness and prevention. The art is mine, not the genes, just to clarify.

Tips For Optimizing Existence, #218

Never be the first to fall asleep at the sleepover.

Pass the time, or let the time pass us?

Free association. Follow the most recent words. Single file.
Ready?


Fire drill

www.thematches.org

I am so bummed!
I ran across this the other day, and I didn't imagine their registration of the site would expire so soon... was really looking forward to sharing this one with you guys.

The site's amazing graphics are sadly lost to us, but thanks to google's web cache feature, I was able to snag their text:


Reaching People For God With Music
The Matches

A ministry of the Bay Area Chinese Bible Church, San Leandro, California, US

We are a group of Cantonese-speaking Christians who are dedicated to serve the Lord with music. Our band started in 2004 literally without a name. With the leadership and vision of our two pastors - Pastor Johnny Yue and Pastor Jonathan Chan - we have evolved into an outreach musical band.

Our mission is to spread God's love and message to non-Christiansand to encourage fellow Christians via God's music. We realize that God has been so generous in providing our church with talents, money, equipment, and space to allow for the existence of The Matches, but we also realize that not too many churches have the same resources. Thus, following Chirst's model as a servant, The Matches strives to serve other churches by providing concerts to their congregation and family and friends.

-----
I think we should use their bio.


ooh! thanks to the first person who posted a comment (sorry I accidentally deleted you in my excitement)