So, wanna know how I came to be bleeding over a garbage can (I mean -
for real, not some Shawn Harris fantasy of clobbering me with a rock)?
That photo is from the Matches' rehearsal room, a couple of years ago.
I was there doing pre-production with them, which means I listen to
them play a new song and criticize them until they cry (similar to the aforementioned slutty clothes tantrum).
We were done with the rehearsal, they were done playing a song for the
last time that day, and they roared into an impromptu ending of the
rehearsal with a really cheesy, psychedelic-sixties-blues-band-like
everyone play a chord really hard and loud and fast with Matt
whal(en)ing on his cymbals. A drumstick broke and the tip bounced off
the cymbal about three feet away to where I'm standing, nailing me
right above the eye.
As I begin spurting red from my forehead, the band makes these moves:
-Matt flies out of the room to find paper towels and bandages.
-Justin up-ends guitar cases to get to a bin with only slightly
disgusting rags (or rejected t-shirt samples? or shirts from opening
bands given the Matches and never worn?) and begins to administer first
aid.
-Jon grabs a garbage can upon my request so I'm not bleeding on carpet,
clothes, or instruments.
-and Shawn, upon quickly realizing I'm neither blinded nor seriously
injured, shouts: "Keep bleeding. I'll get my camera."
As Shawn and I both appreciate the photos we've taken over the years of
various band member injuries (usually it's been Shawn fountain-ing
blood and me taking the photo), I knew just what he was going for. (And
I knew there would be some bizarre use of the photo somewhere down the
line -- where we've now arrived.) So I moved Justin back, refused
Matt's towels, and started tapping my forehead leaning over the garbage
can to keep blood flowing until Shawn came back from the van with his
camera.
...Or maybe we should stick with the rochambeau story.
-Miles
for real, not some Shawn Harris fantasy of clobbering me with a rock)?
That photo is from the Matches' rehearsal room, a couple of years ago.
I was there doing pre-production with them, which means I listen to
them play a new song and criticize them until they cry (similar to the aforementioned slutty clothes tantrum).
We were done with the rehearsal, they were done playing a song for the
last time that day, and they roared into an impromptu ending of the
rehearsal with a really cheesy, psychedelic-sixties-blues-band-like
everyone play a chord really hard and loud and fast with Matt
whal(en)ing on his cymbals. A drumstick broke and the tip bounced off
the cymbal about three feet away to where I'm standing, nailing me
right above the eye.
As I begin spurting red from my forehead, the band makes these moves:
-Matt flies out of the room to find paper towels and bandages.
-Justin up-ends guitar cases to get to a bin with only slightly
disgusting rags (or rejected t-shirt samples? or shirts from opening
bands given the Matches and never worn?) and begins to administer first
aid.
-Jon grabs a garbage can upon my request so I'm not bleeding on carpet,
clothes, or instruments.
-and Shawn, upon quickly realizing I'm neither blinded nor seriously
injured, shouts: "Keep bleeding. I'll get my camera."
As Shawn and I both appreciate the photos we've taken over the years of
various band member injuries (usually it's been Shawn fountain-ing
blood and me taking the photo), I knew just what he was going for. (And
I knew there would be some bizarre use of the photo somewhere down the
line -- where we've now arrived.) So I moved Justin back, refused
Matt's towels, and started tapping my forehead leaning over the garbage
can to keep blood flowing until Shawn came back from the van with his
camera.
...Or maybe we should stick with the rochambeau story.
-Miles
77 Comments :
my dad hit himself over the eye with a claw end of a hammer once.
my mother proceeded to tell everyone that he got 'hammered' over the weekend and hurt himself.
needless to say, your story is a bit more impressive (though not quite as amusing)
i can imagine the event quite vividly in my head...fun
You two must have a very strange relationship, having arguments through a fan-read blog and keeping pictures of each other bleeding.
ahaha classic. Your pain is Shawn's art.
awesome.
"Keep bleeding. I'll get my camera."
that made me laugh... because my friend did the same thing to me but she video taped (man she was a bitch)
The whole "Oh look she's laying on the ground, bleeding perfusely, and can't get up! GO GET THE CAMERA!!!!" is not very funny when you are the victim... but it is hilarious when you are one of the onlookers.
Matt, it seems, was really aiming for you Miles. It was a clever ploy, get the weakest drumstick and wait for the perfect moment to break it. Months were spent lifting weights and literally carrying old ladies across bustling streets. After downing a protein shake or twelve he sat at the drumset, easily fooling everybody into thinking that he was just playing the drums. In reality he was fed up with Miles badgering.
As soon as the unsuspecting Wizard wandered near the drumset, Matt struck, slamming his stick down and breaking it. With the perfect mathmatical formula at hand, Matt knew that the stick was a flying weapon, but was dissappointed in it missing Miles eye by a mere inch or two. He ran into the hallway, fell to the floor and cursed God for a good few minutes. You all point the finger at the drumstick, or Shawn for being reckless. Maybe you should reevalute the story?
Matt is a diabolical mastermind.
(Almost as funny as the story of my grandpa trying to fix a light socket with a piece of metal and being sent flying across the room from the following 220 volts.)
And now, masterfull-Matt, I challenge you to figure out how fast a piece of wood had to be going to create such a wound. I wait for the response on pins and drumsticks.
ouuuccchhh
Although, it kinda looks like he's done the whole "smudge the blood so it looks worse than it really is" thing..
Funny though :)
thanks for bringing clarity to the situation.
the previous story seemed to good to be true
Haha. I love it all. The best part is my friends and I have done that before so I can relate. =^] (I played the role of Shawn, I was the only one with a digital camera at the time... so many years ago.)
ya, okay miles.
Heck yes that's awesome. (As on Shawn's blog I will refer to him as the YOU in the statement.) For some reason it seems like you'd be the one to say that. My old math teacher used to say "make sure I'm not seriosly injured...then laugh". And I can defenatly see this is one of those situations. The rock paper siccors made my friend laugh tho. You "rock". Okay that was lame, but true.
Miles, I must say, you are a fantastic story-teller. I think "keep bleeding, I'll get my camera" is going to be my new philosophy of life. I guess picture's really are worth a thousand words. Well I'd continue to write this borderline obnoxious comment, but I now have to go practice whalening.
"keep blood flowing until Shawn came back from the van with his camera." That has to be my favorite part. I can only imagine.
rochambeau!
I had no idea that's how you spell it. But no one I know believes that's how I play rock, paper, scissors.
Something has occurred to me. I'm sitting here purely miffed at how many people have not only been in this situation, but also that floating around the universe somewhere are pictures from these events. That's sort of amazing. Does that say any less of my friends? Myself?
I'm going to go call my friends and ask why they've never taken pictures of my wounds.
this is like an intense internet soap opera
HAHA basically, yeah.
I'm enjoying it though.
Sounds like me and my friends. I'm always ready with my camera :)
he bled for you.
that is a friend.
That was wonderful.
"criticize them until they cry"
you got me with that one
"Hahaha" is the first thing that comes to mind.
I'm glad you didn't get blind, though.
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Haha hell, glad Miles isn't blind.
Love the attentiveness in them though...even in the means of something as small as flying to get a camera.
Somehow that reminds me of the never ending fun it is, waiting to take a fallen 4 wheeler off of someone, before you take a picture of their face under said 4x4. Totally in good fun, seriously.
♥ V
LMAO MILES!!!!
that made me laugh a lot.
that was hysterical
plus i like your job description:
"I was there doing pre-production with them, which means I listen to
them play a new song and criticize them until they cry (similar to the aforementioned slutty clothes tantrum). "
lol. there reactions. matt whal(en)ing on his drums!!!
that is so funny. gr8 story miles. rock on man!!!! i love u. c u on the 20th?
i can totally see all of their reactions in my head. it sounds hilarious.
This post has been removed by the author.
that's like when i was in my pool, and my neighbor was in the deep end and I was chillin on the stairs in the shallow end and he through one of those little diving sticks and whacked me right in the forehead. Really...my story is nothing like Miles'..but i felt compelled to avoid packing boxes by sharing this with you.
open wounds and pool chemicals aren't friendly. but it was pretty cool getting thrown on the kitchen island and having your medical momma give you stitches on the same place we usually make dinner..
Things haven't been quite right since either.
on a side note, you guys are great on pretty much all levels of greatness. I wish I had people like you in my lives...in person for a change. that would be lovely. (and people that wouldn't throw things at my head...at least not on purpose)
you guys are insane
or amazing
i have yet to decide which
Of course Shawn goes to get the camera. Well I thought the story of Shawn kicking your butt was a bit phisy. I mean I am sure he is able, but I don't think we would have it in him. I guess you ruined his fantasy.
funny thing is I have said "keep bleeding I'll get my camera" so many times in my life.
Nothing is quite as precious as accidental blood flow.
i wish accidental bleeding was always treated like this...
one small nose bleed and people banish you!
preposterous!
in other news...George Saunder's new book The Braindead Megaphone kicks ass so far....i like that man
What I'm about to say has absolutely nothing to do with this.
Ready?
Ok.
In my Theater Arts class (I'm passing with a 100, highest grade in the class *bows* thank you, thank you) we're doing improve this week. The teacher let us choose our partners. I, of course, chose my good friend Niki. A fellow The Matches fanatic who is absolutely insane. Until recently (she dyed her hair brunette this weekend) I called her my one year older blonde double. We got to choose what we were gonna do for out piece. We sat there... looked down at my planner (which is covered in The Matches pictures and lyrics)... looked at each other... then said at the same time "Two fanatics at a The Matches concert who get pulled onto the stage and fight for Shawn's attention like 12 year olds." and we wrote it out.
And since I know the most (birthdays, lyrics, song titles, orders on cds, full names, so on and so forth) and have the most pictures (I could start a museum with the amount of pictures I've gathered over the years) I get to win you. =^]
I take great pride in being the stupid chick that wins the heart of the vocalist of my favorite band ever.
And as for my friend, she doesn't leave the scene heart broken. Mika comes and sweeps her off her feet.
It's amazing what hopeless romantics can think up when looking at a planner covered in pictures in less than 5 minutes. =^D
hahaha "keep bleeding! i'll get my camera!"
that's totally something that i would say.
"they roared into an impromptu ending of the
rehearsal with a really cheesy, psychedelic-sixties-blues-band-like
everyone play a chord really hard and loud and fast with Matt
whal(en)ing on his cymbals."
you know
id really, Really, REALLY like to see that or hear it. sounds awesome. why cant they screw around liek that at concerts? please please.
maybe an mp3?
oh miles. the amount of blood you guys shed is just short of grotesque. i think i still have a shirt in the depths of my unpacked closet that jon accidentally bled on once. i never wore it again, but it was a cool shirt. :)
I'm...disturbed by the last "anonymous'" quote. It's a nice idea, and I don't know if I'm speaking for Shawn (and I don't want to sound pompous, please don't see it that way), but it sort of disturbed me. But, if that person should end up reading this, go drama kids!!
-D
Reminds of my cousin who, come to think of it, is a lot like Shawn anyway.
He had been playing around with a chainsaw file and got it stuck two or three inches into his hand. He laughed, looked at his girlfriend and said "Get the camera."
Ah, this story amuses me so.
Hey Doll. (cute name)
Not like it was actually my idea. I just was more than happy to go along with it. Anything to include The Matches in the class. Haha.
The original idea of hers was for her to win. But she failed to remember Shawn's last name or birthday (we had to explain to the teacher just exactly who he was) so she decided I should win.
So I'm not really a stalker. I've just been a fan for such a long time I learn these things and gain the pictures and such. =^D
I love improv!!! I like to act as a monkey and jump on tables and swing my arms around while making loud, obnoxious noises. And (disturbing thought) if I really get into it I can even throw my own poop!!!
Alright, sorry for sounding like a bitch. Improv IS fun. Sorry for being rude, just that the phraseology sounded funny.
-D
Haha. No it wasn't bitchy I just don't want you people to think I'm psycho.
I am a little but not like stalker. Just like random. Haha.
Friday me and that same friend plus 2 boys are going to do an improv piece where we're superheros.
I'm The Procrastinator... just like real life! =^D
I agree, Dani, it is fun. But I wouldn't act out a monkey... just not my thing.
I did act out Tinkerbell and Ginger from Gilligan's Island though.
I play that "snobby", "slutty", "stupid", "sarcastic" and "mean" role way to well. I can do others but my friends like for me to act that way cause I'm open, modest, not SMART but not STUPID (I get good grades but I'm not like brilliant), VERY sarcastic, and nice.
So I'm told. I personally think I'm really bitchy but thats only cause I'm sarcastic. =^]
Well, I'd love another blog...
I miss 'em.
me too.
A new post would be nice.
*stares pointedly*
Shawn?
lol, I'm kidding. You have a life.
-D
I like doing animal things and crazy grotesque things for warm up and then I get serious. I'm more for the mentally disturbed, crazy charcters whether it is used for humor or in a dramatic sense.
I'm working on the monologue "Audition" by Jane Martin right now. I love it. Oh and "Attack of the moral fuzzies" by Nancy Beverly and "breaking the chain" are also very fun and crazy scenes. Oh and there is also "Eating Out" by Marcia Dixcy. Not very humorous piece considering it is three women with eating disorders talking about their diseases, but the title is quite amusing. I am a theatre freak. haha
My last monologue was Real Women Have Curves (it was the only one with a cute title in the book)
My next one will be from The Princess Bride.
When Buttercup goes to Westley and says "I love you I love you I love you" and he says nothing so she runs off crying. =^]
I think SOMEONE needs a new blog.
I mean, you spoil us with a new one every other day then what? NOTHING?! Geez.
I love you anyways. =^]
*sigh*
Today was horrible
Worst day I've had since I can remember this year (which the last day I remember this year is July 23rd, when I saw the greatest band ever play at Warped Tour *ponders* hmmm wonder who that is)
But you know how I got out alive?
How I am able to sit here and tell you about this?
How I am not in a corner crying myself to death? (I do admit, I have been crying... but I rarely cry so I'm not going to admit it again, probably)
Because I put in my copy of E. Von Dahl Killed The Locals and listened to Sick Little Suicide, Track 11, and Eryn Smith until all my emotions were out.
Sick Little Suicide always makes me feel better. Track 11 makes me feel better too. Eryn Smith has the name syllables as my first name and my middle name put together and so that "you're bitchin'" line makes me feel better cause my friend sang it to me with my name. =^]
But point is...
The Matches just made me feel better.
Thank you.
Earlier today I sang Salty Eyes like I was drunk cause I was bored in a hallway full of people. =^]
After I said "have you been drinking?" my friend said "...have YOU been drinking" >.< so fun.
I'll double that sentiment now, or triple it, if I read right.
I miss 'em.
Pretty surely soon though...
♥ V
man, this is pathetic how we all hang onto your blogs like this. i shouldn't be talking at all, hahaha. we're just devoted.
I might be in El Cerrito from october 26th-november 2nd too, (i've never been to california), so this is in hopes that I can go to your halloween show in oakland on the 27th. It's slightly lame that the only reason I want to go to bay area california, which I've wanted to do for years is that I'd get to go see you guys play live again.
please sir...
could i have some more?
i want more from miles 2.
not just shawn
hell, justin or jon or matt should post as well
and ben and every1 else.
Apparently I've started a trend.
Oh, and yes, definitely devoted.
Okay, I was watching the UofA (hometown team)and USC game on TV and a key-name comes into my eardrums licking my subconcience: Brent Musburger.
THAT'S his first name!! I laughed hysterically and googled him only to see his action figure!! What a coincidence. My question has been eanswered.
-D
Just thought I'd share I was flipping through Plyrics searching for the title of a cd I wanted and I saw a link to The Matches lyrics! :D
I did a dance for you guys.
I did.
SHAWN!
So you signed my spanish project tonight and gave me an A+. Also I told you that we were going to escape the fate show. So here's what happened...
My friend Chelsea (I interviewed you with her at warped tour LA), handed the picture that said "waah, I'm at The Matches, I want to be at Escape the Fate" to Ronnie while he was performing. (You signed the one that said "waah I'm at Escape the Fate, I want to be at the Matches"). He showed it to the rest of the band and laughed about is onstage. Then after the show Max and Robert came out and we talked to them about it. They absolutely love you guys, and they say "hi". Also Robert wants to be as buff as Jon.
They actually thought that the note said something offensive, but we explained to them what it actually said.
It's been a week man!
Miles, Shawn, anyone. I need a new post to make me laugh, make me think, or at least amuse or entertain me in some way.
I miss blogs... mmmhmmm.
Today I caught my mom singing Salty Eyes...
Rare moment.
Should be put in a history book.
She claims to hate my music.
...that silly liar. This is like the fifth time I caught her singing a The Matches song... she probably sneaks my cds into her DVD player while I'm away =^]
My mom sings along to Salty Eyes in the car. I think it's the only one slow enough for her to understand the words. She can't really understand the others. Oh moms.
My mom doesn't know shitall about the matches, other than the fact that I love them.
My mom doesn't know who the Matches are. I talk about them, but she has a hard time keeping track of all the bands. Sometimes she'll be like "oh yeah, THAT band! I remember you saying something about one of their shows or something". haha I love my mommy.
I love when my mom tries to sing along to Thrice's cover of Eleanor Rigby.
I can't sing along to Aretha Franklin's Eleanor Rigby. I always go back to how the Beatles do it so I just awkwardly clap along. I do like it even though it sounds nothing like it. I love "Let It Be" in Across The Universe with the gospel choir singing it. It is amazing. I thought they did a great job with the songs in that movie.
^me too.
And the little boy during the detroit riots, wow. That whole song was pretty emotional.
Despite the shit that it got from critics, and the arguments of it being one big bad music video, i REALLY enjoyed it.
My parents were at the Warped Tour The Matches show in NC this past year with me. Well, I was in the crowd, my dad was in the back taking pictures (cause I figured I wouldn't be able to see but I wanted to be IN the crowd not in the back of the crowd to show my full support cause I had seen videos where literally NO one jumped and I felt bad so I left my dad the camera and said "take a LOT of pictures"...he didn't listen, he took more of Paramore-.-) and my mom sat under a tree beside the stage and listened. Me and my very very redheaded friend stood in the crowd. =^] Anyways- after my mom saw their faces in person (we stood in line for at least 45 minutes waiting to meet them) my mom was able to remember exactly who they were. And when my dad realized "Oh they sing Papercut Skin which is on that mixed cd my daughter made me that has all those Rocky Horror, Paramore, and Anti-Flag songs on it that I love so much" then he knew exactly who The Matches were too (I had no clue he'd like The Matches or Anti-Flag so I just put a funny Anti-Flag song and the one they're popularish for and then Papercut Skin on it so that I could ease him into it.)
And my dad is able to sing Papercut Skin and can sing the chorus to pretty much all of the songs (and he knows most of Chain Me Free and Jack Slap Cheer)
But I was shocked to find out my mom knew anything of theirs. =^]
My mom heard my dad singing Papercut Skin before she heard me singing it and my dad is known for making up words when he doesn't know the real words (like he sang "Use some super kinda glue" instead of "Pour some sugar on me" and also made up a whole new song for The Great Escape by Boys Like Girls while we left Warped right after watching them... it was something like "I really liked the band we just saw they sang pretty high but I don't know what they were saying and I don't know their name. They were fun to goof off to and chicks that dressed slutty laughed at my family but thats ok cause it's Warped '07 and we had fun!!!"...it was weird. >.<)
So my mom thought that the real lyrics we actually my dad's made up lyrics... and when she heard me singing it she was like "...you got that from your father!" and I said "...no. I got it from The Matches." and her jaw dropped and she said "...those are the real words?" and I laughed and said "Yeah."
I pretty much love it.
She also screamed "DID THEY JUST SAY SEX?!?" when she realized what was being said in Drive.
And then there was another time when I was letting my carpool listen to Jack Slap Cheer and my mom said "what's this song called? Teenage Wasteland? Did it just say Stripping?...take him home?...huh?" and I said "it's called Jack Slap Cheer" and she squealed like I just dropped the F and N bomb. Haha. It was hysterical.
Almost as bad as at my first Warped Tour Fall Out Boy was there and my friend was a big Fall Out Boy fan so I was like "ok..." so we watched and they said "This song is about Masturbation!!!" and my mom turned white and me and my friend died laughing. >.<
And then during Reggie And The Full Effect, that lead dude stripped down to shorty shorts and started scooting across the stage and my mom covered her eyes and he said "fuck" at she screamed. Again... I died laughing. IDK why she screams when this stuff is said, my music and my bands and my television shows say these things ALL the time. Haha.
Good times... good times...
...this was really long... but only cause I'm bored... haha.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v207/tomissexable12/celebritycollageag.jpg
i got bored, and thought that this was amusing.
all female, exception: tom cruise.
classy.
This has nothing to do with this particular blog, but...
I was just watching this weeks Saturday Night Live, with host Jon Bon Jovi, and there was a skit about Al Gore.
I got chills.
[IMG]http://i189.photobucket.com/albums/z250/fridayat3/matchesmap.jpg[/IMG]
I'm just saying...
Oh damnit I meant to paste the direct link one.
FIAL
Across The Universe was amazing. I don't car what anyone says. I have always tried to get my friends to listen to the Betales becasue I've been listening to them since I was in utero, but they're always like "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SHIT!!! TURN IT OFF!!!" like they do with naything I listen to. Then several years later they're like "have you heard of this awesome new band?". Yeah I told you about them three years ago and you said that they made your ears bleed. Anyway, now all of them are into the Beatles. I guess that's a good thing but a tad annoying still.
haha one of my friends is like "Did you know they have a song called "I Am The Walrus"?" My response "kookookachoo!" I got no response. I guess I have to work on that.
who serioulsy doesnt know about the beatles?
thats just odd
^agreed.
'awesome new band'?
obviously your friends had been living under a rock if they didn't know who the beatles were, or thought that they were 'new'. hahaha, i'm sorry, i just can't picture anyone NOT knowing who the beatles are.
haha no they knew who the beatles were they just wouldn't listen to them. I'm talking about other bands like mcs, hellogoodbye, or something like that. Yeah my friends aren't that retarded. I kind of just went off on a rant. sorry for the confusion. haha
This sounds just as painful as almost being set on fire do to having a smoking old BFD shirt thrown on you. Wait nope you win Miles, its cause your fanstatical.
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